
Me and someone special to me got chatting over coffee and this is what happened....
'Fear'
...Sometimes things can get thick with it...
Feeling...frustration...confusion....and that....general vortex..of shite..swirling round and round again and again.....
or
Self-deprecation...complacency....and that other inevitable vortex...you might feel... waking up one day ..way down...the line..thinking...What? How? When?...did I become...nothing.
That fear of nothing....is the greatest test we face,that emptiness we try to fill with things, people, places,love....it can all get out of control and can start to interfere with finding those very things that could truly fill that space.
The unknown....the unsure and the uncertainties within.......they are the fuel....the energy....that dissipates into us all ...until we are riddled with it...from the conscious to the sub-conscious, until it becomes us rearing its cowardly head without us even realizing.
Sometimes...
We work past it....the ego stops protecting itself and we show our light unafraid of the weight of the world that surrounds us. Though we don't know for sure....we push the outer-shell apart and expose ourselves...like a seed in the earth. There is growth...there is change.. awareness progression.
The element here is 'faith'...and it is by no means theological...
Its part hopefulness , part naivety...but before anything it is positive..
Working with the same insecurities, on the same emptiness,over the same 'nothing'...
Its the same fuel...creating its a different energy....
and that's where the challenge lieson a very fine line....having faith....or living fear....
....we can choose and we can be broken....but the only way things ever progress is to have some faith...
whilst always keeping the awareness that depending on faith alone to work things out is not facing you fear.... leading only to its our own demise...
We may not always ge what we want ..but we are more likely to find it if we point a lil'faith in its direction.
I wish I could make more sense sometimes..but I do keep trying...